hey people. ok. so i’ve decided to officially open this blog up with a segment i will be calling “why is this happening, again?” because it seems that there are just too many incomprehensible absurdities in this world for me not to say something about them… and in turn make at least half of the people reading this post feel bad about themselves for supporting such bull-malarkey. sound fun? let’s begin.
america seems to have a sick and twisted new obsession with making seemingly unimportant people famous for no good reason. seriously- why is this happening, again? now, we’ve clearly been doing it for quite some time, seeing as how paris hilton is a celebrity (…still wtf-ing that one…), but it would appear that it’s been a bit excessive of late and i’m wondering why.
let’s review two recent offenses:
1. rebecca black:
ok… now i’m only going to ask this once…..
what the actual fuck?
i know it’s kinda old news, but i can’t get over her and i’m still attempting to understand. some girl gets her parents to pay for a music video shoot and the help of a clearly unsuccessful rapper (the one who appears in her video and apparently wrote that hot mess of a song) and she’s famous overnight!?
let’s reevaluate, shall we:
a. she’s in no way talented.
that’s pretty much all you need to remember.
she obviously can’t dance, she apparently can’t change the tone of her voice, and twelve year olds can’t drive. like, i’m sorry but i refuse to willingly suspend my disbelief for a poorly executed music video that features a lead singer who sounds like a pitchy robot and a keg party for middle schoolers.
i wouldn’t even be bringing this winner up actually, except now she’s in katy perry’s new video, which only adds to my confusion. when did this sort of thing become ok? …and to avoid implying that i’d ever choose to endorse katy perry or the drastically auto-tuned crap she calls her music, i’ll just stop here.
alright. our second, more recent, and slightly more puzzling faux-lebrity:
2. pippa middleton:
……..america…..really….? really now? you don’t get much more worthless than pippa middleton. seriously, what is everyone’s weirdo fascination with her? i get that she dresses nicely. i really do. but aside from that, what is the appeal? i mean, she’s not particularly beautiful and obviously not an entertaining personality (i know because she’s british), so what are we fixating on here? possibly most obnoxious is that she’s all over the tabloids and rag-mags and i’m kind of sick of seeing her everywhere i go. like, for real, i don’t give a flying piece of pig shit what pippa wore to wimbledon.
why does no one else question her relevance!?
at least shes smart and milking the fame while she can. though i must say- “dating prince harry”, my ass. don’t be an attention whore, pippa. it’s not a flattering color on you… though most others apparently are, according to our friends at people magazine…
and so i conclude, shaking my head at yet another conundrum presented to me by the screwed up world i live in.
have a lovely day, creepster mccreepytown.